The pizzazz of English.
Picture, O reader, an Orchestra- humbly defying thy expectations.
Unseen and overlooked, this ensemble of elegance addressed
to one and all as Language, is the epitome of pulchritude.
Hear the Orchestra, for it follows.
‘Hear’ well and you’ll know,
the oink of the pig or the tic-tac of the clock;
the hiccup from the throat or cooing of the flock;
are all mere words but yet onomatopoeic.
Now, ‘hear’ well and contemplate too
for what follows might amaze you.
So the homophone that rang belonged to which witch?
Now sing along and say it right,
irrespective of your soprano or thick,
‘Arabian Sands’ are vast
thence comes your synecdoche.
Thou sang along; albeit all wrong.
Oh Fudge! Oh fish!
Thou art euphemistically dysphemis.
Having said it wrong, let’s kompose and write –
like the ku klux klan have satirikally misspelled.
Did’ya cnow? They replaked the C with the K and
Kaused kaos uncnowingly.
For thy birth they merged, thy wer and thy wyf
Speaking of chaos, I couldn’t resist;
to mention thy birth and for that I shall
shoutout to thy wer and thy wyf.
I shall try to be a paronomastic man,
But, I’m big and large- as thou can see
and I’m not one to be puny.
Wavered, pondering and lost all hope?
Fret not, O reader, here comes more.
Meet the Antanaclasis, informing thee that
time flies like an arrow; flies like banana.
Did you ever know the story
where there lies glory
for the blind carpenter who
picked up his hammer and saw?
O reader, you’ve been hit by
syntactic ambiguity, hard and raw.
Take a walk on the garden path and find thou shall
whatever lies above this.
Shoutout to Steven Wright for his analogy was right
For he said that he knew and he wasn’t speaking of the right,
“On the other hand…… you have five other fingers.”
And for the one liner that she read, humorous perhaps;
her hair too wasn’t red, but she surely didn’t get,
what the ‘one-liner’ was meant to be cause
some blond joke, get it?
-Hariharan Sriram (The Skookum).
The Skookum 